Anyway, the Mercator Projection is great when it comes to navigation but it does distort world maps by making certain parts of the globe appear larger than they are, including Greenland.
Which begs the question, does Trump really want Greenland for its untapped oil and gas reserves and its rare earth minerals (which aren’t really rare, so why don’t we call them ‘earths’?) or does he just fancy taking over an island that’s large but not quite as large as he thinks it is? Answers on a postcard to the White House.
The reality is that Trump tends to get what he wants and Greenland could well end up in U.S. hands (to get ahead of the curve, I’ve already secured the naming rights for the island’s prospective Major League Baseball team, the Nuuk Nukes).
Europe’s only option to stop Trump appears to be to force him to eat the national dish, suaasat, which is a soup made of seal, whale, reindeer, or seabirds, or to offer him something else European instead.
Is there an EU country that he could be offered instead of Greenland (besides Hungary, which he already has shares in)? Luxembourg’s got money? Malta’s got sunshine? Ireland’s got one of Trump’s golf courses?
Perhaps he’ll accept a prize. Can the EU strongarm the Norwegians into giving Trump the Nobel Peace Prize (or even the “Noble Peace Prize” as he wrote on Truth Social this week)?