More and more young Chinese women are taking other women on dates because they see men as too complicated and unreliable. A look at the background.
Dec 9, 2025, 12:51 p.mDecember 9, 2025, 4:31 p.m
Many young women around the world perceive relationships with men as stressful or unsafe. There is now a term for this increasing disillusionment: heterofatalism – the feeling of being attracted to men but trusting them less and less.
This development can be observed particularly clearly in China, reports Daily Gazette. This becomes clear using the example of the young woman Zhangzhang: The 20-year-old Chinese woman feels attracted to men, but often finds them strange and complicated. That’s why she came up with the idea of seeking closeness where she feels safe – with other young women. They then take on the role of their friend for a few hours.
Bring a virtual friend into real life
The role of the friend played is played by actress Coco. She’s not supposed to portray just any man, but the hero from Zhangzhang’s favorite video game: Gu Shiye – smart and reserved, but caring once you get through his hard shell.
The character Gu Shiye from the computer game “Worlds Beyond”. image: screenshot «Worlds Beyond»
For three years, Zhangzhang has been an enthusiastic player of “Worlds Beyond,” one of the romantic computer games for women that has been played millions of times in China. The game impresses with its realistic depiction of conversations, emotions and closeness, so that players often feel like they are interacting with a real artificial intelligence. The virtual men send voice messages, react to texts and show jealousy or affection depending on the situation – every click makes them seem even more alive.
Impersonating characters as a side job
With the actress Coco, 20-year-old Zhangzhang can now meet her favorite hero in real life. Coco dresses up as Gu Shiye, wearing his clothes from the video game, a matching wig, and even platform shoes to appear slightly taller than Zhangzhang – all to make the date seem as realistic as possible. Coco calls this type of game cosplay, i.e. imitating characters from games or comics.
Young Chinese women are becoming less and less interested in men in their own country. (symbol image) Image: EPA
What started as a hobby has now become a part-time job for student Coco. However, in major Chinese cities such as Hangzhou, Shanghai and Suzhou, the market is highly competitive, she says. You always have to deliver, otherwise the customers wouldn’t come back for a second date. Cosplayers earn between 20 and 100 francs per day.
Many of her customers feel stressed, lonely or insecure, says Coco. They are looking for someone who takes them seriously and is sensitive – something they rarely experience from Chinese men.
Chinese men are unpopular
In China, men are often viewed as unkempt, uninterested and unattractive. At the same time, many feel unfairly treated by this perception and their resulting single existence and vent their frustration in misogynistic chat groups and forums. There they complain about allegedly spoiled or overly demanding women. Trust between the sexes suffers noticeably as a result.
A key reason for this development lies in the consequences of the one-child policy: for decades, sons were preferred and millions of female fetuses were aborted. Today there are around 30 million more men than women in China. This imbalance has a major impact on the marriage market: While men in many cities are desperately looking for partners, women increasingly feel harassed, harassed or pressured into marriage. For many young Chinese women, closeness is seen as risky, love as strenuous and relationships often mean disappointment or pressure.
The one-child policy was abolished in China in 2015.Image: EPA
It’s not about sex
The so-called cosplay dates can provide temporary security, safety and attention, but they do not offer physical closeness. Zhangzhang emphasizes that it’s not about sex for her, but simply about closeness: “I just want someone who is there, looks at me and listens to me. I don’t need anything more.” For example, Zhangzhang strolls through the mall with her favorite character, holds hands and goes out to eat.
As a child, the young Chinese woman rarely received affection. Her parents worked a lot, so she had to spend a lot of time alone. “I used to want constant confirmation,” she says. If she didn’t get these, she was left with the characters in the game – or today the cosplay dates in real life, even if only for a short time. (fake)